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L’allenatore e il “saper ascoltare”

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Si è, abitualmente, portati a credere di saper ascoltare i propri interlocutori e si crede, il più delle volte, che non siano necessarie preparazioni specifiche da allenare ed affinare per farlo al meglio.
La sicurezza, spesso infondata, di saperlo fare tout court, potrebbe portare a commettere errori e a causare fraintendimenti tali da creare comunicazioni difficili, perdita di informazioni importanti, frustrazione in chi sta cercando un canale comunicativo sano e funzionale, istruzioni mal comprese e una mancata validazione dell’altro e della sua richiesta.
Ascoltare chi parla è prerogativa imprescindibile di una comunicazione efficace e produttiva, ed è la base per costruire piuttosto che distruggere.
Quanto appena detto è valido anche in ambito sportivo, soprattutto per allenatori e allenatrici a stretto contatto con bambini e ragazzi.
Saper ascoltare, e saperlo fare in maniera attenta, scrupolosa e autentica, è un’esigenza fondante nei settori giovanili, e non solo, ed è, in particolar maniera, un atto doveroso e da tenere costantemente a mente se si ha l’intento di svolgere il proprio lavoro con coscienza.
Un ostacolo significativo capace di rendere l’ascolto impervio e difficoltoso è, spesso, l’innescarsi del pregiudizio nell’ascoltatore.
Un ascolto pregiudicante e giudicante blocca la possibilità di andare oltre e di sbirciare al di là delle parole. La visione dell’altro, in cerca di condividere un suo bisogno, appare così limitata. Gli allenatori potrebbero, pertanto, incappare nell’errore di fermarsi alla superficie della comunicazione senza cogliere i significati più profondi dei ragazzi che seguono. Si fermerebbero alla forma senza cogliere la sostanza del messaggio, rimanendo emotivamente distaccati dalla conversazione e dalla persona che hanno di fronte e privilegiando una comunicazione che non prende in considerazione l’unicità dell’altro e del suo mondo interiore.
Una conversazione governata da pregiudizi non permette la comprensione e l’accettazione reale e profonda del ragazzo.
È importante tenere, però, bene a mente che saper ascoltare non significa affatto essere sempre in accordo con l’interlocutore quanto piuttosto mostrare la capacità e la disponibilità ad accogliere il suo vissuto, le sue emozioni e il suo punto di vista, aprendosi ad una sana discussione e ad un’esemplare creazione di significati condivisi e produttivi.
Un altro malagevole ostacolo è rappresentato dall’ascoltare a tratti. In questo caso si è, tendenzialmente e principalmente, concentrati su se stessi senza accorgersi dell’altro, se non in pochi e sporadici momenti della conversazione.
L’attenzione è fittizia e simulata, ci si prepara a dare risposte sotto forma di consigli ed obiezioni, mostrandosi distratti con uno sguardo perso nel vuoto.
In questo caso, si è più interessati a parlare e ad imporre se stessi piuttosto che ad ascoltare in maniera concreta e profonda.
Saper ascoltare è un’abilità da imparare e da addestrare che richiede una pratica continuativa nonché un impegno consapevole, col fine di scoprire l’altro nella sua totalità e nella sua pienezza, senza aggiungere, perciò, arbitrariamente, tasselli in più che sono solo nella propria mente.
Gli allenatori del settore giovanile rivestono un ruolo delicato e decisivo nella maturazione evolutiva dei ragazzi, vanno pertanto formati ed allenati ad un ascolto empatico, completo, attivo che possa, inoltre, migliorare anche le prestazioni sportive, concedendo ai ragazzi la libertà di esprimersi perché accettati ed ascoltati.
Allenatori attentamente formati a saper ascoltare mostrano un atteggiamento d’interesse verso i loro ragazzi senza fermarsi alle apparenze, andando oltre ai pregiudizi influenzati da credenze e condizionamenti personali.
Presentano una mente aperta e concentrata che non condanna i ragazzi perentoriamente, definendoli con etichette precostituite, rigide e non veritiere.
Sanno entrare in sintonia con i ragazzi senza incastrarsi in vacue e pericolose verità assolute. Sanno accogliere senza farsi sequestrare e intrappolare da tempeste emotive che non concedono lucidità di azione ma impulsività che ferisce i più piccoli nel loro sentirsi adeguati, efficaci, competenti e di valore.
Non è mera utopia ma è realtà che, in alcuni contesti, è largamente praticata e realizzata con il pieno e chiaro intento di dare spazio vitale ai giovani in quanto parte fondante di un lavoro fatto di sforzi, impegno e passione.

“Saper ascoltare significa possedere, oltre al proprio, il cervello degli altri.” Leonardo Da vinci

Dott.ssa Rosa Sgambato, Iscritta all’Ordine degli Psicologi del Lazio. Per informazioni e appuntamenti: 3283410660 rosa.sgambato@yahoo.it

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